12.10.2008

Bridesmaids: Rules to live by...


This is a recent conversation between one of my friends and I when told me that her friend Renee was getting married and she needed to travel out-of-state for the wedding.
Me: "Are you in the wedding?"
Her: "No.''
Us in unison: "Thank God!"

Being a bridesmaid can be hard work and expensive. There are parties to plan and gifts to buy. Sometimes, there are trips to plan and pay for. Fires to put out. Tears to wipe. And of course, other bridesmaids can be the worst to deal with...

I've been a bridesmaid once (my family isn't that large and I was the first of my good girlfriends to dance down the aisle). While I would never want to be in say, 27 weddings, I did love every minute of my bridesmaid experience. I was lucky...the bride is one of my oldest friends and her other (yes-there were only two of us) bridesmaid is a terrific girl. We had a great time together from shower to nuptials. It helped that the bride had a destination wedding with a small, fun group of people.

Thank gawd the trend for super-sized bridal parties are falling to the wayside (I plan on posting a future blog about my ideas on this). But if you are asked to be in a wedding, here are some guidelines to get you by and to make your bride very, very happy (don't worry, no one expects you to be Jane from the movie 27 Dresses).

My Rules For Being a Good Bridesmaid:

1.) If you don't want to be in the wedding, kindly say no. Don't feel that you have to be in your co-workers wedding just because she needs one more bridesmaid to even out the groomsman. If you don't plan on knowing her after you quit your job, it's a good rule of thumb to just. say. no.

2.) If you are afraid to commit to being a bridesmaid because of finances, let the bride know your situation. Otherwise, she'll never know you can't afford the $300 dress she picks out (that you'll never wear again and can't sell on craigslist).

3.) If you commit to being in the wedding, please try to attend all the events, from the shower to the bachelorette party to the pre-wedding sleep over. It means a lot to the bride that you are there.

4.) Don't complain about the way the bachelorette party or shower was planned (at least not to anyone that knows the bride)...it's part of the deal. You said yes.

5.) It's probably not a good idea to make out with any of the groomsman until after the ceremony. Smeared lipstick on the pulpit is not cute.

6.) Try not to get too drunk at the rehearsal dinner. After all, you are going to care when the wedding pictures are developed and you look sort of....green.

7.) Try not to drink too much until the end of the reception. Remember, there are photographers following your every move. And, the bride might need help with her dress, hair, etc...

8.) Golden rule. Treat the other bridesmaids as you want to be treated. Don't be catty. And don't create drama. The bride has enough to worry about without playing referee.

9.) Dance at the reception. Even if you don't like the band or DJ. The bride will appreciate that you helped start the party.

10.) Have fun!! It's not everyday that one of your best friends or cousins gets married.


Of course, there are those of us who would say yes to a co-worker's request to be in her wedding because we just love weddings that much.

What are your wishes for your bridesmaids?

[image:Flickr]

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